Monday, June 13, 2011

Bachelorette Recap Ep. 4: I miss/ed Bentley

Clearly it's both of us who miss the son of a b---GUN.

Leave this mansion...."forever." Oh Chris Harrison.

Ohh the crop tops.

The poor Thai concierge. Don't judge us based on "har".

Guys are not bummed, secretly wish Bentley were still there so he could teach them how to play to WIN.

Enough with the "I thought of this."

Her weird nervous tic putting her fist over her mouth when she's anxious.

"The mystery of Ashley" I laughed at a very high decibel.

"Hangeeen out" - she DOES belong with Bentley in Utah!

"Don't try to win??" Wait, don't they win a cash prize at the end? OH WAIT, no that's Bachelor Pad, even more shenanigans amazing.

Jibber Jabber Ben.... again... RELAX. Enjoy Thailand, buddy.

AAAAMES, ma boy!!!

Aw making rainbows out of raindrops. TENDER.

We're headed in a really good 'DirAAAction'

Constantine asking for her advice to be the next Bachelor. But he's sincere about this whole thing, so it'd be a boring season.

"Don't be insecure, [I took off work, I'm in Thailand having a brofest...Life's GOOOOD]"

What is this man girl-talk between JP, Josh Groban Winemaker, and Blake? About break out into 'Teenage Dream' or something (ok, no judging, that song is my guilty pleasure).

Mute out Constantine talking, cue voice over of a Are You There God/Bentley, It's Me Ashley monologue.

"THIS TIME [Not in real life, but right now when I'm on TV] I'm going to give it all I've got!!!" - The crux of The Bachelor's genius.

Oh my gosh, it's such a self-improvement journey! Dr Phil is blushing!

That smile says 'hopeful', alright. (Are You There, Bentley?)

Ames, unlike the other guys, could never get enough Solar Panels.

Solar Panels- so classic happy-go-lucky-but-gets-anal-about-dumb-things kind of guy.

OMG ADORABLE KIDS. Soh wah dee kap!!!

Personal Trainer on the hula hoop. Perfact.

Omg, JP's face reminds me of the face Darrell Hammond on SNL makes as John McCain. "Joe the plumber")

They always need so much affirmation.

"He just needs to get more confident in this setting [with all the other guys]" Newsflash: Polyamory has been most popular historically-speaking, but it hasn't been popular for a while now, hun.

Solar Panels is the SoCal version of Brad Womack. Gag. 'so concerned' he's not going to make international destination #2!

JP John McCain looks like gross Anthony Weiner and 'lizard face' Chris Bosh (shout out to Congo).

Roommate: "Look how the umbrella just disappears! So awkward!" {Collective fits of laughter}

AMESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! Such a cute gay.

Omg, looks like they were doing water ballet for a second. Wouldn't be surprised.

The AMES date:
"Aw may gash!"
He's standing a foot away from her!
"I can't talk to her!" More attracted to nature than a woman.
'We' met... 'We' ended up dating for a long time. Kept it gender-neutral.
He's sitting 2 feet away from her!
Look how tight his shirt is, at dinner!
He just used the word 'floral'. He notices the flowers more than her.
"Ashley and I didn't kiss tonight"

I called it G-Ames. Moving on ...

I feel so sorry for Ashley and being in such a 'dark place'.

"I would totally approach you at a restaurant. First, you're gorgeous... Second... uh ...." Typical. Love it.

You just SAID you 'fell out of love', dummy. So don't question aloud whether or not you think 'that' exists or not. Bleh, southern gentlemen.

Blake's confrontation. Amazing. He's losing it! Play to WIN, play to WIN!!!

"I don't have problems with guys." ('You would need to talk to Gay Ames')

Haha, oh Anal Solar Panels.

What the hell is this soldier analogy?

Ah, this is why these 'always happy' guys creep me out. Because they get legitimately mad with a smile PLASTERED. Inconsistent emotions and facial expressions = creepy.

I can't put into words how amazing that shot was of the guys getting their first glimpse of her at the Rose Ceremony. Pavlov Dog reaction much?

Guess who's back, back again... Shady's back!!!!!!!!!!! HALLELUJAH!
I just pumped my fist in the air no less than 10 times.

1 comment:

chantelle.elise said...

i wait to watch now so i can read this along side

'We' met... 'We' ended up dating for a long time. Kept it gender-neutral.