Monday, June 27, 2011

Bachelorette Recap Ep. 6: I'm SO over Bentley.

And so we begin another adventure in our journey of love with half men (if we are following rules of radioactivity 'half life', they are 25% men by now... right? I don't know, I haven't done math since high school).

That still shot of her with the traffic racing behind. Fail. Not dramatic enough a contrast, so therefore, as cool looking as those 'Glamour Shots' all the cholas at my high school had from the mall.

This 'closure' stuff is such bs.

"He's here?!!!" Duh, you flew him here!

"I'm not gonna mess with you" - such a little skeeze, that Chris Harrison. For one, why didn't he show her Bentley's interviews?

The editing is off. No, we, the audience are not buying that it's going to be a toss up (if he's going to come back or leave).

Duh, don't they know the tabloids were all over this ... oh, 4 months ago?

Wow, he's really conniving = this is reeeeally embarrassing for her.

Bentley's so bored running the trampoline gym/wants to be on TV so badly that he got on a 20 hour flight to have a 20 min conversation.

I'm LOVING the voice over "he's a player, etc" with the shot of him on the couch.

I'm SO over Bentley... I'm so ready to hang out with the guys but won't tell them about Bentley yet, thereby giving him more weight... I'm so glad Bentley's gone... Bentley Bentley Bentley Bentley Bentleeeeeeeeyyyyyy.

Lucas aka Texas version of Will Forte (MacGruber- SNL).

"It's known for it's neon signs." Is that really a thing? Pretty sure I'd just go to Las Vegas if I were into that.

"This looks like New York." I'm glad most people have the burning image of Times Square as what New York looks like, so they won't move here. heehee.

I'm SO over Bentley.

Ugh. Don't like square toed shoes on someone who is not a metrosexual tool/Italian/gay. Now I'm not the kind of person that notices what guys wear specifically. A whole look (preppy?!!), yes. But specifics, no. But NO square toed shoes, just the normal guy shoes, thanks.

"I haven't thought about Bentley at all" NOT AT ALL.

MacGruber's going to save me from Bentley!

Crop top #485674.

"Hello, do you want to meet a creepy American who will lean over your restaurant table and demand you speak his language?!!"
- Oh, Solar Panels. He reminds me of this kid on one of my study abroads, who, when he went to Australia, was considerate enough to make his travel companions hang around while he learned to play the digeridoo, FOR 8 HOURS.

"He's our greatest fan" -I shouldn't kill any more brain cells hitting my forehead, so I'm just laughing extra hard.

The Josh Grobans are on the same team!!!

They're scared of two strangers (and a fleet of cameras) coming up to them.

If Ryan got a rose, I would pack up and go home. Because it would mean he's not into me. - Gaymes. (wait was that him?)

Ugh, Solar Panels even did the liberty of learning a cantonese word! How IMPRESSIVE.

LOL "Bah-chi" meaning idiot. So perfect. I actually laughed with them, sue me.

"EvAr since Bentley." I'm SO over Bentley.

Oh, sorry... I just took a walk around the block because I was so bored....uh.... where were we?

GAYMES! Going for it!!!! HAHAHA.

Winemaker Josh Groban really pulling out the preppy stops. I really under-prep-stimated him. Now he just needs to cut his hair.

"This date with JP is the most excited I've been" ... since Bentley.

... nervous wrAck.

...beating out of my chAst.

...when he lAft.

I'm SO over Bentley.

I'm SO over Bentley.

But I'm SO over Bentley.

Solar Panels is pissed. But yet, still wants to be here. Wouldn't be as creepy if it weren't Solar Panels.

Solar Panels the therapist moderator sensei ringleader extraordinaire taming all Ashley's emotions.
(HAHAHA. This is perfAct. I think that Glee guy is so ugly)

Gaymes- Loved the enunciation and pacing of the whole 'fairy tale' thing. his mouth moves in odd dirActions.

When all else fails, cry.

Good job. Dentist figured this game out.

"Oh no" -Solar Panels. but secretly happy...again, creepy.

Gaymes with his mouth gay-ping open.

Aaand, once again as is customary on Bach, by raising a valid concern you essentially self-eliminate.

Sorry, Dentist. A friend?!!!?!!
Move to Provo, Utah- girls will throw themselves at you: you're their type! Without leaving your couch, they will bring you food and hook up with you. GO!

Previews look epic.


Jg. for FatScribe said...

you have, no doubt and mos def, found your voice here. i'm really enjoying the snarkfest (mostly b/c i'm so not a fan of either show (male or female), or perhaps its just the reality genre in general). a bud from law school won the first amazing race, and then my best bud's wife was on survivor. but, my problem with the genre is one of absolute envy and jealousy ... viz., that my show was rejected by Fremantle Media after three meetings! we thought for sure we're golden ... and then nada. maybe i should get all snarky and whatnot.

keep it up, kid!

Tara said...

first, watch this:

also, i've only seen bits and pieces of this season (when my roommate who isn't even a TV watcher sneaks this for on-demand marathons on random weeknights...) but from what i've seen of her outfits, both past and upcoming, girlfriend needs a SLIP or at least some lining in those dresses.

that's all.

Lauren Allen said...

hahahaha, girl you're hilarious. And if I hear the name Bentley one more time Im gonna throw my shoe at the stupid TV!!
"He's here?!!!" Duh, you flew him here!
HAHAHAHAHA that's EXACTLY what I was thinking.
Anywho, hope your doing well! Love your guts!

France is said...

soOoOoO glAd i found thAs. mAde me lol myself. you sort of wont believe this but the word verification is ingercat.