Monday, July 25, 2011

Bachelorette Recap Ep. 9: a.k.a. 'How To Mispronounce "Nervous'"

Welp, I may not have called Ames' (formerly known as Gaymes) preferences, but so many have since come out of the closet in favor. Including Telly, who strongly prefers pirates or lumberjack types. Apparently, NO one is immune from the allure of The Prep. Or maybe Telly just likes men. I mean, because I'm getting SO good at calling these kinds of things, LET'S BE HONEST. ;)

Ah, it's really been SUCH a "hard time" Ash!!!

I guess if this happened to me, I might think the same way.

Ben, it's actually PREFERABLE if you were NEVER ok with "this kind of thing." Most people in their right mind are not.

Ahh, huge diss to the other Groban by not showing family footage OR the producers ran out of things to show about snoozefest Constantine.

'JP LOOKS LIKE A MODEL.' Best thing she's ever said.

Writing in her jerNAL.


"And Chris said, 'Jackpot. This will make great TV because you are so unaware of your embarrassing behavior.'"

Winemaker Groban is going through a 'finding himself' phase or whatever NorCal winemakers do when they're not cruising around their vineyards via vespa.

"I wanted her to liiike meee. Did she?" Insecure question #987945873

She doesn't care for you and curses the day my sister signed me up for this, "but she knows I'm [temporarily] happy."

I can't even comment on these awkward "Uh, yeah. I'd, uh, love to go to the fantasy suite" statements.

Constantine is the next Bachelor, mark my words.

WHAT IS HER OUTFIT? Worst one by far.

"Really, [I look tan]?" Insecure question #...I lost count.

LOL OF THE SEASON: Solar Panels watching the helicopter ride.

You have water FOR a brain, Ashley.

"I wanted a mancave" I rest my case.

"We don't have a lot of time" because all good relationships don't take time, either.

Oh, shoot, Barry's on. It's the end of America, we get it. Thanks for the reminder to look into New Zealand real estate, Obama.

Boehner's on, too. Shoot. Better look at Oz as well. Not since 1600 has paying taxes to The Queen (for among other things, Andy's shenanigans) felt so intuitive. Regressing has never been so de rigueur!!

Ok, back to Ashley for more mind atrophy.

Ahahaha, it's so clear why they brought Ryan back. Looove it. She's so insecure.

Solar Panels is the kind that puts himself in the line of abuse and then demands sympathy. Go away already.

Oh shoot, SP is the next Bach. OH DEAR.

Ugh, you're a perfectly nice Jewish boy. You deserve so much better!

WHAT ARE HER EARRINGS? Still at the roller rink...

Bentley FTW.

"You can't hold back" = "I'm so insecure that you're not telling me that you love me."

"nerVISSS" - she STILL can't pronounce it correctly.

Ah, FINALLY, her Amy Winehouse (RIP) sister calling out her BS.

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