Oh, this too.
It makes me miss NYC for a hot 3 seconds and then I remember I have this.
And things like the Torrey Pines Reserve... probably the top 3 most beautiful places in the world, which boasts a very favorable ratio in terms of hiking output (minimal) and view payoff (HUGE). My kind of hiking. The past couple years, it's become my sisters' and my default thing to do when we have out of town guests, and every time I go I wonder why I don't spend more time there since it's like 5 seconds away.
So my docs still say I'm still not doing that well even though I feel like I've never been better, and it's starting to finally hit me how much of a load I've been carrying for 25 years. It's an interesting thing to mourn a life perception you've always known, and also feel really vindicated that things will only get better somehow? Some conflict and strange optimism of the unknown complex going on.